In our society in a developing country, how open are we towards certain changes in our lives? I refer to the female community in our country on how much we have evolved. Are we as submissive as what is deemed or we have un-shelled and are now moving on to a new era of becoming braver and stronger in fighting for ourselves?

Sometimes I wonder if this plays a direct change in shaping the way we think and therefore the way we behave or react in particularly dire situation like foreseeing or more accurately, experiencing a crack in our relationship. It was quite an interesting find to see how the babes in the forum debated about whether to allow the husbands to take in a second wife. And so when we assume that the female group in Malaysia are still quite conservative about family values, it is more astounding to observe such big number of women who are against the idea of having a second wife with no acceptance of any reasons or pleas behind that move. Some popped very realistic questions like having children in that picture, drawing further that it is all the more difficult for the first wife to react to what the majority voted for, which is to file for a divorce.

Being caught in such situation, should we play up to our maternal instinct which is to sacrifice in order to provide the children with a complete family, i.e.: a dad, a mom and the children or to fight against all odds to preserve the final dignity for ourselves and the children. Well, I don’t deny that the reason to take in a second wife could derived from many other unspoken tales or obligations, but to take into the extreme account of this situation, how would you react? Don’t forget that Florence Nightingale fought against all odds to do something for the society despite being pressured due to her gender status at that time. So will such change in a family bring better life and hope for the future? Join the debate or discussion here.

Ok, you excuse yourself from the crowd to the powder room a.k.a. restroom a.k.a. toilet. 

You walk into a cubicle and find no hook behind the door, the slab to rest your handbag is wet. Your next alternative is to leave your

handbag on the floor while you take care of your important business for the minutes you need while you sit on the bowl. Once you are done, you carry the handbag with you and then move out to join your friends. Then conveniently, you put your handbag on the table or the seat. Now, did you realise you have just help hundred thousands or millions of germs in migrating? 

Now think twice before you leave your handbag on the floor when you visit the loo.

The publish about The Secret, the movie on romance, the talks by Steven Covey, the conventional or the unconventional means of knowing oneself or working out and mending a relationship, these will all turn and twist to one similar ground, back to the basic.

You may have heard people telling you the importance of listening, as it being the gist of a relationship. This is basic. You would have heard the saying that pride kills. This is true and it is the base of all as well. How is that so?

I know someone who is married for two years after a long eight-year courtship. There were problems before they made the vow but they went ahead with the wedding plans. Then more problems arise or I would say the recurring incidences. The wife is unhappy, the husband is upset. They stopped communicating but only talk to each other when it is necessary. What happened to their bonding? Or the feelings for each other after almost 10 years spending with each other?

I spoke to the wife one day and she revealed more bitterness from her side. And it so happened the husband called her on the phone. Instead of the cheery mood she was in after she has calmed down, her tone of voice turned lower and the words she chose to use during the phone call were direct and brief. Her body language was rigid, frowned eyebrow, and annoyed expression from her face. After she put down the phone, she was back in her cheery or I should say, chirpy mood again.

This made me think for a while why a couple could not work out a relationship just by abiding to the basic rules; first to let go of the ego and second to listen.

Sadly, it is countless to note that people would rather hold up to their pride and protect their ego than to listen to the main ideas of what is being communicated during a conflict, misunderstandings or arguments. It is so natural for most to just dive into that sea of arrogance and biting on the fact that who should be blamed and who is at fault. With this mindset or judgment, no better words could be made understood to them because they are listening with a tint, the layer of jusgment which is passed before it is heard. And when this happen, how genuine could one understand the other?   

If you happen to be trapped in such situation, it is good to try the above rules, let go of your ego and listen. Ask yourself which is more important to you, your pride or the relationship?

Ok, I am just wondering how much we know about STIs (now known as sexual transmitted INFECTIONS as defined in the wikipedia for it has a broader range of meaning; a person may be infected, and may potentially infect others, without showing signs of disease.) and how much do we understand HIV. Today, we shall learn or re-learn this with the ABC method, not that there are 3 different steps, but there are 3 different options which one is definitely the answer I will put up the questions here and when you are done with the Qs, you can check the answers in the comment link All the best

Avert Women and HIV Quiz 

1. What is the only method of HIV prevention currently available that women may have some control over?
a. Microbicides
b. Condoms
c. The pill
2. In heterosexual sex, who is more likely to become infected with HIV from an HIV positive partner?
a. The man
b. The woman
c. Both are at equal risk
3. Can someone who abstains from sex until marriage get HIV?
a. No
b. Yes
c. Not if they stay faithful
4. Contraceptive pills are widely available for which people?
a. Women
b. Men
c. Both men and women

5. At the end of 2007, how many women were living with HIV worldwide?
a. 1.5 million
b. 15.4 million
c. 54 million
6. When was the first woman diagnosed with AIDS?
a. 1979
b. 1982
c. 1991
7. HIV can be transmitted from mother to child through…
a. Using the same toilet
b. Delivery/breastfeeding
c. Sharing food or drink
8. A lesbian can be infected with HIV.
a. True
b. False
c. Only if she has sex with a man
9. In South Africa a teenage girl is…
a. Five times more likely than a boy to be HIV positive
b. Five times less likely than a boy to be HIV positive
c. Just as likely as a boy to be HIV positive
10 . What can the contraceptive pill protect a woman from?
a. Pregnancy
b. HIV
c. Herpes

11 . Why are poor women vulnerable to becoming infected with HIV?
a. Poverty causes HIV
b. Women cannot be treated for AIDS
c. Poverty can cause women to engage in more risky behaviour such as commercial sex
12 . Women represent what percentage of HIV positive people in the world?
a. Almost 20 percent
b. Almost 50 percent
c. Almost 70 percent
13 . In the future, how might a microbicide gel help women protect themselves against HIV?
a. By killing HIV inside the vagina without a partner knowing
b. By stopping HIV developing in the body
c. By reducing viral load
14 . Globally, most women become infected with HIV through…
a. Blood transfusions
b. Unprotected heterosexual sex
c. Sharing injecting equipment
15. If an HIV positive pregnant woman takes the correct drugs and doesn’t breastfeed, how likely is her baby to be born with HIV?
a. Less than 2 percent
b. Around 15 percent
c. Over 40 percent
16 . What percentage of women living with HIV are in sub-Saharan Africa?
a. Around 24 percent
b. Around 52 percent
c. Around 76 percent
17. Which of the following women founded a leading paediatric AIDS charity?
a. Elizabeth Taylor
b. Elizabeth Glaser
c. Queen Elizabeth II
18 . Since the beginning of the HIV/AIDS epidemic, how many women in the USA have been diagnosed with AIDS?
a. Over 420,000
b. Over 182,000
c. Over 55,000
19. In 2006, what percentage of HIV positive pregnant women in poor countries received drugs to prevent HIV being passed on to their babies?
a. 72 percent
b. 23 percent
c. 49 percent
20. In what year did the female condom first become available in Europe?
a. 1982
b. 1992
c. 2002

It kept me thinking for days over this statement made by a friend of mine. She said, “Can we live simply so we don’t exhaust ourselves over things which will vanish someday?” It caught me thinking and with my brows perked in doubting form, I didn’t realize I am one of the victims and culprits too.

Now, how many of us actually asked ourselves if we have asked too much? Say, our boyfriends told us to tone down or made teasing remarks that we are of the high maintenance group? Why do women expect so much? Why do women ask so much when they may not have the ability to fulfil that certain expectation that they created? Why do parents pin so much hope on their children? “You must be a doctor! At least a vet! My wish is that you can be a Gynae when you grow up.” Seriously, these are often heard either from our very own family or our friends’ family.

Frankly, I don’t have any professionally crafted answer to this. I am no counselor nor God to even spare any advice. I am just an ordinary person, happened to be a female, and sitting here to type out my wonder and questions.

From the time I heard that statement to this very moment, only two words came into my mind. Envious and greediness.  I saw what my friends have, and so I want some for myself. I saw what my buddy’s boyfriend did for her birthday and so I want the same or even more extravagant celebration from my beloved. I have tasted donuts with chocolate fillings and because I love the taste, I would ask for more. I could not be an astronaut and so I want this to be done by my child because I knew she has the potential to be one. I spoke to my sister and because her child topped the class, I want better achievement from my own. Comparisons, expectations, requests demands, and more surfaced. How sad!

Why can’t we live our life as simple as it is? Why do we need more to add on to the taste of life? Isn’t salt enough to cook? Why do we need oyster sauce or chicken stock to add on to the thickness of the palate?

Does anyone have any advice or answer to this?

Ah! I love shoes. Whenever I walk past shoes boutique, I would pop in, trying out all pairs but woud hold my purse tightly and told myself, buy it tomorrow! I love shoes, bright colours, plain Jane’s, whatever I wanna term it but I have one big problem myself. I am not like many ladies out there who could spot one pair and tell everything about the shoes. To me, shoes are just shoes, an accessory, something to wear, something you put on to protect your feet. They must be fashionable, eye-catching, easy to match with your clothes or bags and most importantly, COMFORTABLE. 

So to give myself a little e-tuition, I decided to do a bit of research online to find out more about shoes. Well, nothing much though especially when I am so impatient and often distracted by something else, which are definitely more interesting than plain words.

Hence, to share with the rest of you who, well hopefully those who wait to read my posts ;p (I know my big, fat hope!), I am putting this up.

All definitions except for 2 which are Suede, Thong, they were all taken from here. As for the pictures, they are homework done by me with great help from googling work of course :p Hope this is a piece of useful read from me Cheers…

SHOES
	Pronunciation: [shü] Function: Noun Date: 1881 Definition: Footwear shaped to fit the foot (below the ankle) with a flexible upper of leather or plastic and a sole and heel of heavier material.

alpargata -a Spanish or South American sandal-like shoe, usually with rope sole, attached to the foot by thongs.     anklet - a shoe for a child or woman that has a strap around the ankle. balmoral - a sturdy laced walking shoe. blucher, bluchers - a high shoe with laces over the tongue. boot * - a shoe that covers the whole foot and the lower part of the leg. brogan, brogue, clodhopper - a thick and heavy shoe. calceus - a shoe covering the ankle; worn by ancient Romans. chopine, chopines - a woman’s shoe with a very high thick sole (see: platforms, platform). cleats - a pair of shoes with cleats on the soles; “the football players all wore cleats”. congress boot, congress gaiter, congress shoe - an ankle high shoe with elastic gussets in the sides. counter - a piece of leather forming the back of a shoe. d’orsay - a pump with a circular vamp and sides that curve downward sharpley, exposing the sides of the foot. espadrille - a sandal with a sole made of rope or rubber and a cloth upper part. fins, flipper, flippers, fin - a shoe for swimming; the paddle-like front is an aid in swimming (especially underwater). footgear, footwear- covering for a person’s feet. gaiter - a shoe covering the ankle with elastic gores in the sides (see: congress shoe). ghillie, gillie - a shoe without a tongue and with decorative lacing up the instep. gym shoe, sneaker, tennis shoe - a canvas shoe with a pliable rubber sole (also see: running shoe). huarache - a sandal with flat heels and an upper of woven leather straps. insole, innersole - piece of material shaped to match the bottom of the last, which will be layered between the outsole and the sole of the foot. The shoe is constructed around it, with the upper, welting, and lining attached. kiltie - casual shoe with fringed tongue that overlaps fastening at the instep. kitten heel - low heel that tapers sharply to narrow base. last - made of plastic, metal, or wood, it is the form used to determine the shape and size of the shoe. The derivation of the word is “laest”, the Old English word for footprint. loafer - a low leather step-in shoe; the top resembles a moccasin but has a broad flat heel.

Louis heel - high heel with graceful curves on the sides and back. Originally designed for King Louis XIV, of France.  - high heel with graceful curves on the sides and back. Originally designed for King Louis XIV, of France.moccasin, moccasin * - a slip-on shoe made from soft leather with stitches around the top at the front, originally worn by native Americans.      monk * - a closed shoe, most often men’s, with a wide strap over the instep fastened with a buckle. mule * - a shoe or slipper, with any size heel, covering only the front of the foot, leaving back open. outsole - the outer sole of a shoe or boot oxford - a low shoe laced over the instep. oxford * - A sturdy, low shoe that encloses the foot, and laces over the instep. platform shoe - a shoe with a high thick sole. plug - the central piece of the upper of a moccasin. pumps, pump - low-cut shoe that surrounds the foot, without fastenings. May have heel of any height. running shoe, sneaker - comfortable, lightweight shoe made of canvas or leather upper, with a pliable rubber sole, often used for athletics. sabot, wooden shoe - a shoe carved from a single block of wood. saddle - a piece of leather across the instep of a shoe. sandal - a shoe consisting of a sole fastened by straps to the foot. shoe lace, shoelace, shoestring, shoe string - a lace used for fastening shoes. slingback, sling - a shoe that has a strap that wraps around the heel. stiletto, or spike - very high heel, with long, slender shaft. Suede -   made of leather, esp. kidskin, with the flesh side rubbed to make a velvety nap. Thong - a shoe or slipper fastened to the foot chiefly by a strip of leather or other material passing between the first and second toes and often attaching to another strip of material, as a strap across the instep or around the ankle. tongue - the flap of material under the laces of a shoe or boot. vamp - the front lower part of the shoe’s upper part. May be shaped in various ways. walker, walking shoe - a comfortable, low-heeled shoe designed for walking. wedge heel - heel that extends down and forward to meet the sole, filling the entire shank portion of the shoe with a flat tread surface. May be of any height. welt - strip of leather or synthetic attached to the outsole and upper, situated in the crevice between upper part of shoe and sole. For decorative purposes, it may also be only attached to the sole. wing tip - a shoe having a wing-tip toecap - a piece of leather stitched over the toe-cap of shoe or boot. Used as decoration, it will often be perforated or of a contrasting color.

* This shoe is one of the seven basic shoe styles, from which all footwear fashions are derived. Of them, the moccasin is the oldest, dating back over 12,000 years. Most recent is the oxford, appearing approximately 300 years ago.